Edited by Eugenio Ciuccetti, Obstetrician
Many women who are faced with a pregnancy do not know how to behave, during the nine months of gestation, with respect to their sexual life. The same embarrassment, if not even greater, is usually felt by their partners.
On the other hand, many fears, doubts and taboos crowd into the minds of future parents who often end up giving up - or at least sacrificing considerably - this fundamental part of their relationship in a completely unjustified way. Often without even discussing the subject together. Avoiding, due to modesty, that dialogue, that communication, which instead could lead to the solution of the problem.
Once again it should be reiterated that pregnancy, in the vast majority of cases, is an absolutely physiological event. Of course it involves important modifications to the body and mind of the woman. But these changes are not, therefore they should not be interpreted and managed, as if they were pathological.
On the other hand, with some forethought, the woman will continue to work even during pregnancy. He will continue to have a social life, to carry out his physical activity and to travel. And always with some forethought the woman will continue to drink and eat.
In short, respecting some fundamental rules (often dictated by simple common sense, sometimes indicated more specifically by the gynecologist and / or midwife), the expectant mother can easily continue to do the things she did before pregnancy and that she will continue to do after childbirth.
Excluding from this physiological together sexuality alone - fearing that it could be dangerous in itself - would make no sense. Only the presence of cultural prejudices and the lack of adequate information in this regard can lead to such a misunderstanding.
This is why it seems essential to clarify some key concepts. Making love during pregnancy is in itself an absolutely normal fact. Still in normal conditions, the fetus does not run any risks because it is protected by the uterus and the amniotic sac. The physical and hormonal modifications experienced by the woman in this period (especially from the second trimester) may even favor to a certain extent her libido and her physical predisposition to relationships (the genital area will be more sprayed, the vagina will be more lubricated, the breast and perineum more sensitive, etc.). The small contractions caused by orgasm do not represent a threat, just as penetration and male ejaculation are not harmful.
Some practical difficulties can certainly emerge, especially in the last few weeks, from the size of the belly or from the possible back pain of the pregnant woman. Some positions usually used by the couple during sexual intercourse may therefore be uncomfortable or inappropriate (for example, the man over the woman risks exerting excessive and harmful pressure on his abdomen). But this is certainly not a sufficient reason to give up one's sexuality tout court. In fact, any couple that wishes can experiment and freely identify alternative forms and methods that do not involve any mechanical discomfort: for example with the woman on all fours or on her side. Some also recommend the position with the woman kneeling or squatting over her partner. Others, on the other hand, exclude it, fearing penetration could be too deep. Although it must be said that this position still allows the woman to actively keep control over her feelings and avoid pains or discomforts that would otherwise suggest the interruption of the relationship itself.
However, it is not our intention here to draw up a sort of imaginative Kamasutra for pregnancy. As said, every single couple, in their intimacy, will find the most suitable solutions for themselves. The important thing, once again, is that the right message arrives. Sexuality in pregnancy, by itself, is not at all contraindicated and it is almost always possible to find simple and effective remedies for technical obstacles that may from time to time take over.
Certainly there are specific contraindications, or in any case the most delicate situations which may involve some greater risk, and which must therefore be discussed on the merits with the gynecologist and / or midwife who assist you. For example a history of spontaneous abortions or the presence of a placenta previa, the appearance of blood loss or the premature rupture of the amniotic sac, and still a threat of preterm labor. But in these cases we will have come out of physiology.
As in any other phase of our life, then, the success of one's sexual experiences cannot be reduced to a mere technical and mechanical fact. The psychological and relational component is naturally fundamental. And it is even more so in pregnancy, given the real emotional earthquake that this phase involves.
If indeed it is true, as we have shown up to now, that many couples give up sex due to the unjustified fear of "doing damage" to materials, it is equally true that they are often the stereotypes, prejudices and false myths that still surround us at " turn off "legitimate desires for months.
From this point of view, the expectant mother goes through alternate and different periods. Feelings and expectations change from week to week. The nausea and tiredness of the first trimester can for example temporarily lower the desire while soon afterwards the sensitivity, the need for affection, attention and reassurance, the need for tenderness and cuddling will increase. It will not always be necessary to have complete reports. Sometimes a caress, a kiss, a massage are enough. However, physical contact with the partner undoubtedly favors the psycho-physical well-being of the couple.
In the second quarter the woman lives from all points of view her moment of best form. This often also results in a recovery of libido and sexual desire. Paradoxically, it is precisely during these nine months (not running the risk of unwanted pregnancies) that some women for the first time are able to completely indulge in pleasure and experience the fullness of orgasm.
Sexuality in pregnancy: second part »
